Daily BV

I'm not obsessing over this, really, I'm just curious is all. But I'm getting my daily dose of swine flu coverage. After listening to slightly over a dozen different broadcasts between television, internet, and radio about the swine flu outbreak, I'm not worried at all. Really. You get a fever, you go to the hospital, right? There are drugs that are effective in treating this thing and they're not likely to run out anytime soon, which is wonderful. As usual, the media is doing its job; hyping up fear by saturating the airwaves.

I'm not worried about a thing.

So I'm on my way to Walmart to pick up a few things when it suddenly occurred to me that I should probably get some face masks, you know, just in case.

And then I reminded myself to began bashing my son about washing his hands more.

I also need to call my daughters and start bashing them on the head about washing their hands.

As I parked the van, I got out thinking that I should probably avoid getting a basket, I'm only picking up a few things, I should be able to carry it all and give myself some space between exposure to anything viral. As I entered through the automatic doors, I almost winced at the onslaught of recycled air (not that I know anything about Walmart's ventilation system), and felt my breathing become shallow so as to keep myself from fully inhaling any airborne viruses and at once, I was immediately aware of the number of people in store. As I passed by the customer service line I had to stop myself from glaring at one of the sneezing customers in the line. That's not a sign of anything, I said to myself as I held my breath while passing by.

Applauding myself for not getting caught up in the rise of panic brought to you by the media - with my help of course - it suddenly occurred to me that I should probably pick up some more hand sanitizer and Lysol, but figured at best I would only be perpetuating the hype and at worst not prevent a thing. Good catch, eh?

As I nervously glanced at the 3rd person that had sneezed in my presence, I became peripherally aware that my pace had quickened through the sprawling center with potential airborne pathogens. Hurriedly rushing to the checkout counter clutching my items tightly, I beamed in amazement at my ability not to become fullon agoraphobic by this swine flu scare. I couldn't help but notice that not one person seemed to display any sign of awareness to the current news but instead, passed on through with their errands in seemingly blissful ignorance.

I continued on in my race to an almost vacant checkout counter when I noticed that not one person that I had passed had a bottle of Purell in their baskets. Then a strange thought creeped into my mind; am I descending into paranoia?? Absolutely not. That's crazy, I'm not paranoid, I'm just observant is all, I reasoned, as I punched the ATM keys with my knuckles.

I breathed in deeply the air current that hit me as I exited the store, and felt a pang of relief being outside in the fresh air. Some fresh perspective from other citizens in what will be the danger zone maybe just a few weeks or months from now gave me a sense of calmness and greater clarity about the situation and I felt renewed and more serene.

Perfectly calm and not paranoid at all. No reason to be. I wonder if there's a sanitizer for my keyboard and mouse...